so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize