don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
