he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
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It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
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Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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