she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
