yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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