Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Randomize
