Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize