WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
whose parrot is this?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
