put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
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