you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
