I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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