she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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