things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
