Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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