so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
