Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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