I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
