How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
