ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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