our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm both gender and math confused
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
