i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
