yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
