i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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