Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
