You can't motorboat a personality
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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