Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?