Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.