never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
