i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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