Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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