where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
