he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
