"it" just moved
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You're like the curious george of whores
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
the liver wants what the liver wants
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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