Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
