hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
