Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
