I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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