bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
