their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
