she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
