what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
