so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
