just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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