there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
