i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
