Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
