Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
