The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We need a shit load of segways right now
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize