I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
