she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
