I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
How external is "for external use only"?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
