Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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