Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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