____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
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