the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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