I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
