covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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